Pastor/Student/Writer/Activist

I originally wrote the following as part of our CCT (Center for Community Transformation) program at CTS, which combines internship at a parish with internship at a community action organization, an integration class, and a class on contemporary religious issues taught in different churches throughout the semester.

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This was a good week for reflection, since I had a cold and could not go to the soup kitchen; and was in the process of dropping half my classes and having the opportunity to think about what happens next with the monastery and with civil disobedience and with Iran.

My mind was not quite made up about all this when I was in my Integration class this past week; it didn’t really come until I was reading my previous two years’ worth of theology papers while writing my chapter on God for Constructive Theology. Every time, my conclusions came out that I was compelled to go next to Iran, to build bridges among religions, and to adopt the ‘monastic’ life that continually called to me. I’ve been this nuts about this particular path of action for this long? And I realized I couldn’t finish the chapter; that it really was in no way my priority to do so at this point in my life. And the next day, I handed in copies of my previous papers to Dr. Schneider as a parting gift, explaining why I simply had to go. She apparently took this well. Dr. Terrell took it well also, and I did my best to role-play for our final Ethics class together, the Israel-Palestine debate. I chose characters that I knew were rarely represented, such as the economic-motivated settler in the West Bank, or the Iraqi man who never really cared for Palestinians until the Americans started occupying his country. I think it was useful. [Meanwhile, my friend David used my red fleece vest to go as Norma, the Lutheran pilgrim to the Holy Land.]

I talked to Dow, my dean, after I dropped the classes, and I appreciated what he had to say, that he affirmed the need for sleep and that it was only one semester more of my life. And actually, chances are good that on this timeline, I could be prepared by then to have SeminaryAction and the Center for Faith and Peacemaking accepted as my ordainable call. In the meantime, it’s possible he’ll be back from sabbatical in time to serve on my reading committee, and that wouldn’t be bad at all. Not unlike Harry Potter losing Dumbledore, I am getting anxious about losing a wise and patient advisor at a critical point in my formation.


However, it is a little like the writings of Mother Theresa that I keep turning back to for encouragement in these days; that one hopes to do the right thing and a good thing even when encouragement or a sign of affirmation may not be immediately present. How many decisions have I made under the same circumstances? And yet, so far, I am often fortunate, often finding some peace in taking this path.


My life as a student at CTS and my role as a student pastor at First Church in Woodlawn and my concerns as a global citizen all intersected during the Board of Trustees meeting at the seminary this week. This mainly involves the decision whether to join the University’s South Midway Expansion, and how it seems that the least concern for our administration are these very questions of community impact that CCT asks. I’ve written (and probably should attach) an article for the Prophet newspaper on why this is an inappropriate option for the seminary to consider; and several Trustees and faculty told me that I spoke well at the meeting about these concerns. So, perhaps I have some hope that it will be heard; if not by our President, than perhaps by the Trustees.

I considered also what happens if they decide to go forward and do it anyway. Part of me considered that I wouldn’t want to continue my studies in a seminary that would do such a thing to a poor and struggling neighborhood. But I’m not sure that’s the answer either. There would be many good reasons to apply for a Ph.D. here, regardless. And perhaps to be available to work with students in that ‘damage-control’ process if we are indeed to become part of this unfortunate gentrification.

Another way is possible.