April 19

This morning by design or accident, the guards have done us a great favor and left off the overhead lights (which are terribly bright and usually hit you in the eye at 5 AM). This could be their way of saying “Happy Saturday” and its working, since most of us have gone back to bed.

More yelling and screaming last night – a few girls have sidled up to the airvents in their rooms and use them as Alpen horns, in which they call “Ricola!” – just like the cough drop commercial – and I finally fell asleep last night promising myself I’d accidentally drop my breakfast tray on them in the morning – oatmeal and all – but I was feeling more charitable/sluggish by then and anyway we had grits, which I do like here.

At the moment I am waiting for laundry call – sheets and pillowcases today – and reflecting on taking pleasure in simple routines. For example, I love laundry call, trading in old stuff for new. I really like uniform exchange, since by then we’ve been wearing ours for 3-4 days straight and they can stand up on their own. Underwear exchange is usually mjore of a gamble, hard to get anything that fits since they’re all so old and worn out. Sheets and towels though are alright.

I am happy to report nearly all the mail has gotten through – and I get a little slip of paper to sign when something doesn’t make it through inspection. Usually the problem is photos glued to a card, or something similar. I also heard back that my early general letters have been posted to my blog and e-mailed around. In the meantime, if I haven’t said earlier, I’ve received so many beautiful letters here I would like to try to do a book on them. I don’t know if it will work, but I’ll see.

Last night I read most of 1st Kings, I don’t know how long it's been since doing so. I’m reading it in “Free on the Inside” the Prison Fellowship Bible, which is a paraphrase edition for new Christians. It’s actually not too bad, written at about the 8th grade level, which is closer to where I think most liberal theology books should be written. 8th grade is the reading level of most of the U.S. The trouble with liberal theologians is that there is that they’re usually PhD’s writing to impress other PhD’s in order to get tenure, etc. which generally excludes most other potential readers. Meanwhile, one thing Fundamentalism does well is produce a lot of reading material with simple, down-to-earth vocabulary. I venture that it is easier for most people to be convinced by an argument when they can understand the argument. So, I think this may be one more reason liberal churches continue to decline. It is a class issue as a politics issue, and here I am afraid liberals have much to account for.

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Saturday and Sunday have been quite good – I was excited to see Catherine and catch up on news from school and “talk seminary” for a while – a relief! - and then to see Tom and Erin this morning and share some good laughs about the kitties going to the vet, and the upcoming chili cookoff, and about a Bible study that may have gone worse than the the ones around here usually do (though in the story I heard, not due to the teacher’s ignorance – this time it was a student in histronics). And a call home and hearing my niece Gracie’s giggling questions about life in jail. (I told her it was mostly like high school –true!) The rest of the weekend I slept in and napped plenty – which in retrospect was probable an excellent idea – I’ve manage so far to avoid a violent respiratory and gastrointestinal cold that’s hit nearly everyone else. I’ve also been washing my hands like a maniac.

A woman came in for a weekend sentence, and had some kind of catatonic anxiety attack. The guards came and took her out in a wheelchair. We had some pretty obnoxious rubber-neckers, so our pod got locked down for awhile, too. Another woman came in later, probably paranoid schizophrenic I guessed from our brief chat – later vomited in her cell and the guards took her away.

Just now I had the opportunity to debate the merits of half a bag of Jolly Ranchers versus a Milky Way bar. While incarcerated, Jolly Ranchers are a trade currency (trade food with cellmates, buy erases, favors, etc.) that is easily divisible, plus they double up as cough drops. Meanwhile a Milky Way is … chocolate, good in its own right. (Snickers, my first choice, wasn’t an option in the negotiations). I received the Ranchers as a thank you for tending a girl in the next cell with a raging toothache with all my commissary acetaminophen packets. My lunch table-mate likes Ranchers for a reason I forgot to mention earlier, that is, they are excellent “ammo.” They have a connect-to-target satisfaction level roughly akin to paintball, I think.

--No TV this evening. I enjoy the quiet enough, but its not fun being blamed for things we can’t help. There’s been a mechanical problem with the electromagnetic cell doors – they read as open while in real life they’re closed – so sometimes this past week, we’ve been stuck inside our cells when the command post thinks they let us out, and other times, like now, they yell at us for having our doors open when they’re closed tighter than anything we could do to open them. Hence, the no TV as punishment. We’ve gone through this with every shift of guards, but no luck yet. You’d think that in maximum security they’d want the cell doors to work…

After 2 weeks, I’m still waiting to get to the library. We’ve only been allowed once, but it was later in the evening after medical rounds when most of the readers were already in bed. (Once you go in your cell at night, you can’t get back out). Meanwhile, we get to go to the “gym” nearly every day. I think the difference is that there’s security cameras and a window from the command post to the gym, and there’s nothing for security in the library, so they have to send a guard. So if a guard doesn’t want to go, we don’t go. Sounds like most guards don’t. I think it would make the most sense if each pod got even 1 hour a week to get new books, at a time we could count on. The library and AA are the only two truly rehabilitative programs they offer here.

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Meanwhile in happier news, I had a wonderfully quiet night last night. I simply advised everyone that whosoever chose to scream into the air vents that night would have a lunch tray dropped on their heads because I would be too tired to know otherwise. That garnered a few shocked looks and a comment that “if the preacher’s threatening, she must mean it,” and it was quite surprisingly effective. Two girls sheepishly asked this morning if I’d slept well, and I found my culprits. All is forgiven☺

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It seems I went through a very sluggish spell – not quite sick – and I haven’t written for several days. I also see that by the time some of these letters make it home, I will possibly be home already. The days are flying – not in all ways, but in many. I think some letters I won’t manage to reply to until after I’m out. No matter how many supplies I get, it’s still not quite enough, but that’s also a good problem to have – it means I am loved, and that gives me great hope here. So many of the women get no mail, and several have no one to write to at all.

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Yesterday at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning while they were distributing razors, I decided to try shaving. It’s not easy or appealing in one’s cell, but it was t-shirt exchange day later on, and I could use a dirty one to clean the floor afterwards. And I could handle the “Mountain Woman-Look” only about three weeks. So, they give you a few sample size packets of cream, which are a bit tough to tear open that early in the a.m., and a disposable razor. I discovered quickly that the water and suds flies everywhere and also unfortunately stains the stainless steel, but I guess the quality of the job was about as good as at home.

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In the mail this morning I received two disconcerting letters, and I was surprised they got past the screeners. The first was from a Neo-Nazi/anti-Semitic/Anarchist group, many crinkled photocopied pages with swastikas and red and black ink, the other was an inmate from a prison in Texas who said he wanted a “pen pal” but his letter sounded much more like a personal ad. Both letters proclaimed that we had so much in common. Oh, Lordy, I just don’t think so, and don’t plan to respond to either of them. Since both letters contained contraband (staples, pamphlets, and letters from another inmate) my cellmates thought perhaps the guards downstairs have give up trying to screen my mail.

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I don’t think I wrote earlier about being taken out for my Federal Bureau of Prison physical when I got here – they put me in full shackles and a matching orange prison-issue coat, and I went in the back of a heavily armored paddy wagon – this was fine albeit bumpy. The fun part came when walking through the hospital in full get-up, realizing this is quite a shock to the families and elderly women – so – I tried to smile and say, “Oh, don’t mind me!”

Notes from My Cell, April 18

Once again it is almost too cold in the cell. I've got my shawl-blanket wrapped up tight around me. The sky outside is a dismal gray, as if caught between rain and shine. I'm almost done with the latest novel-- a newer twist on Don Giovanni-- what if he were an eighty-year-old writer in today's South Africa? What if his mother had Alzheimer's and he went to visit her in the nursing home, and he was painfully aware of losing her? What if all his loves were against the backdrop of being an anti-Apartheid white Boer during all the troubles? What would he have to say about the current Iraq war? It's a rather good read, Before I Forget, by Andre Brink. I see it was once spoken of on NPR. I am worried though what book I'll read next; I think I've run through the stack of good ones.

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They took Suzie away in the middle of the night, poor girl, to put on the deportation plane back to Slovakia. Her whole family lives here now, and she's a young girl. Now I begin to wonder if they didn't take my Syrian friend off like that also. I'd hoped perhaps her husband had simply come in the middle of the night with bond money after all. I guess I will never know.

Off went Nadine, too, on short notice this morning- the prison bus came and picked up four women. Another bus was already through earlier this week, but I believe that one was federal prisons and this one is state prisons. Tanya got released after court today. She is also quite young and she was so gravely repentant while she was here. It all feels rather empty now.

Last night there was quite a loud fight, for some time, and it was so much wild yelling I couldn't understand any of it from my cell upstairs. Then, after nightly lockdown, a few girls with too much sugar in their systems were yelling to each other through the air vents. Not very enjoyable for the rest of us. Apparently they exhausted themselves by morning- it was pretty quiet most of the day.

There's a bad cough going around downstairs and I'm tempted not to be out in the dayroom much. Everyone is being rather germophobic too, so there is some tension, especially directed at the woman who appears to have brought in the cold.

Tonight so far, after supper, is far more subdued than last. Two girls are in lockdown for fighting. 23 hours a day--ouch. I forgot to mention I haven't been allowed a visit to the library yet. I keep asking. Otherwise, one could do worse than the Bible and the Qur'an as companions this next several days.

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The guard just came in and put another girl on lockdown for five days. Poor girl--she made a hair tie from the top of her sock, she said it was falling off anyway--still, it's considered destruction of federal property. She has not had much luck in her time here. Meanwhile, everyone's calling the 63 year old "Old Lady," and I haven't been able to make them stop. She is recovering from her usual habit of Clonepin, Percocet, and vodka. I understand its a bad combination for driving. I hope they will finally accept her, she is sweet, and also quite lonely.

The Friday night sandwich special is about to arrive, and someone's aunt sent about 100 gallons of Koolaid mix through commissary. This is grounds for a party. Time to go.
LeAnne

Trial Update

Greetings everyone,

I just wanted to pass along the latest press release from our trial down here in Columbus, GA. I feel pretty good about the outcome and am looking forward to returning to Chicago in a few days, and also doing additional public speaking and outreach on this issue. As soon as I'm able, I'll send along some of my other thoughts from this weekend.

peace,

Le Anne

Trial Update - SOAW 11 Sentenced to Federal Prison

"I crossed the line at WHINSEC and prayed on the grounds to bring attention to the teaching of torture and assassination. When enough people learn the truth about this school and act to end these practices, the healing can begin."
- Diane Lopez-Hughes, one of the SOAW 11

The Eleven courageous souls that willingly put their freedom and bodies at risk to stand in witness against the SOA/WHINSEC during the November 2007 Vigil have been sentenced to federal prison on charges of "trespassing on a military base".

The trial, which began at 9:00 AM this morning in Columbus, Georgia, took place in a courthouse located just a few miles from Fort Benning, the current site of the SOA/WHINSEC. An institute known around the world for its ties to brutal dictatorships and human rights abuses, which continues to operate, unchallenged by our government but not by the people.

The SOAW 11, ranging in ages from 25 to 78 and from very diverse walks of life, testified today before magistrate G. Malon Faircloth. Ed Lewinson, a 78-year old History professor who in November crossed the line for the fourth time, was sentenced to 90 days in federal prison and a $500 fine. This is his first conviction since in previous years the government refused to prosecute due to his blindness. Tiel Rainelli, a 25 year old activist from Canton, OH who was arrested this past November after climbing over the barbed wire fence blocking the main gate of Fort Benning, announced that in spite of the courts decision to sentence her to 90 days in prison, she would return to protest at the gates of Fort Benning in November.

The SOAW 11 are:

- Joan Anderson, 65, Casper, WY - 30 days and a $500 fine
- Ozone Bhaguan, 33, Duluth, MN - 90 days and no fine
- Le Anne Clausen, 29, Chicago, IL. - 30 days and no fine
- Art Landis, 74, Perkasie, PA - 30 days and no fine
- Ed Lewinson, 78, Newark NJ - 90 days and a $500 fine
- Chris Lieberman, 54, Albuquerque, NM - 60 days and no fine
- Diane Lopez Hughes, 58, Springfield, IL - 45 days and a $500 fine
- Tiel Rainelli, 25, Canton, OH. - 90 days and a $500 fine
- Gus Roddy, 45, Chicago, IL - 30 days and a $500 fine
- Stephen Schweitzer, 45, Binghamtom, NY - 60 days and a $500 fine
- Michelle Yipé, 45, of Argonia, KS - 30 days and a $500 fine

Read more about the SOAW 11...

Take Action!

The SOAW-11 have courageously taken their protest to close the SOA/ WHINSEC onto the grounds of Fort Benning, GA and YOU can help take the message to Washington DC! One way to support the SOAW-11 is to be a part of our legislative campaign.

Is your Representative in Congress one of our supporters?! At the bottom of the Legislative Action Index we have a complete list of all of the HR 1707 cosponsors. If your Representative is not on this list, get involved in our action campaign!

We've made it easy for you to contact your member of Congress and ask them to cosponsor HR 1707, legislation that would suspend operations at the SOA/ WHINSEC and investigate the use of torture manuals and the association of human rights abusers with the school.

- Click here to send an email to your Representative now!

The SOA Watch legislative team has also created a new resource for you to bring this important issue to the national level by making the closure of the SOA/ WHINSEC a part of the 2008 Presidential, House, and Senate elections.

- Check out our Elections Packet with bird-dogging tips, resources, and strategy on how to make the SOA/ WHINSEC a part of this year's elections.

For more information about the Legislative Campaign, contact Pam Bowman, the SOA Watch Legislative Coordinator at pbowman(at)soaw(dot)org or (202) 234-3440.

Globe Gazette Article

Here's the article that ran in the Mason City Globe Gazette this past Sunday:

http://www.globegazette.com/articles/2007/12/30/local/doc47771d3a4015f471150737.txt

The Hope in Harry Potter

There's two good articles I've read about Harry Potter lately, so the topic's been on my mind. (It's amazing I have this kind of time right now to think of things, and also to write them down. I'll miss it when I'm back to the daily grind). One is TIME magazine's 'Person of the Year' profile of J.K. Rowling, a runner-up for the competition, reflecting on her work and its meaning. The other appears in 'The Lutheran' magazine, on why one pastor has no trouble with his grandchildren reading Potter.

I've been writing around the edges of a pit in my stomach that doesn't want to go back to school this coming semester, that doesn't want to do much anything except hide actually--it's a lousy time to be a leader in our student government if you ask me. Our beloved dean is headed on sabbatical, and the other powers that be seem not too interested in the life and wellbeing of students, let alone the neighborhood. In fact, there's a lot of forces that don't seem to be too concerned about the place in which we live and the wellbeing of people. One gets the sense that some would like the students to shut up and go away, in occasionally politer terms. I've been known to say out loud I'd rather take my chances in prison this spring, which is very well likely where I'll be once the SOA trial is over. In the meantime, I've dropped to part-time, and I don't hang out on campus much anymore.

Still, perhaps now is not the time to hide, behind bars or otherwise. And this is where I find great courage in reading and re-reading Potter. (I might also mention the Lord of the Rings, and the Chronicles of Narnia, epics I never thought I'd embrace before recent years). I need to hear, over and over again, that people can go wrong in the pursuit of their perceived good; to recognize it when it's happening in leaders I see, and to take warning it could happen in myself. I need to hear that there is hope in love, and there is hope even when those we love and who love us can't be there to help us. In fact, I might have still remained in seminary up to this point in good part due to reading Potter.

The thing I appreciate most about Rowling's archetypes in Potter is that they do help me to see, bad in good people and good in bad (or, rather, those who are causing harm and fear) people, and to seek to love them however I can. Yes, in my world I can identify Gilderoy Lockharts and Severus Snapes and Lucius Malfoys and any manner of Ministry officials. (I even knew a crooked dean once at another seminary who resembled in face and body and voice and personality and all other things Dolores Umbridge, as portrayed in this summer's fifth movie). I think I might even have encounters with the Dark Lord on occasion. And sometimes I don't know this until I feel the little deaths they've left behind.

But I also know Dumbledores, and Hagrids and Lupins, who love me and seek to help, and whom I love; and I have friends the likes of Hermione and Ron, Luna and house-elves even. Somehow, I am reminded I don't have to face things alone. This is different than being free to abandon the situation altogether. But also, not alone.

I think it could be egotistical to think of myself as Potter, but then, probably every child puts him or herself in Potter's shoes, or at least those children who must face trials in life and survive; those who are not sheltered from most things and are perhaps more vulnerable, but also have a few gifts to recognize and use to help themselves. I need to think of my gifts less as a curse or a source of personal pain, and more as gifts, and to practice them in order to be better and do better. I don't know. There are so many ways to go wrong when trying to use one's gifts well, to function in society, to know the good and work for it.

I hope I can work for the good, and remain good. I hope I will keep the students together, not to dissolve into factions and stir up enmity with each other, because there are so many ways that could happen. I hope not to be alone.

On Civil Disobedience and Jail

So, part of that Middler Review process asks what I think I need in order to prepare for the ministry before I am graduated and ordained.

I responded that I think I need to spend some time in jail.

I do, actually, think that this would be a very important part of my spiritual formation. For many reasons: I have issues with guilt, shame, 'good,' 'bad' and punishment. These are issues I had resolved as a peacenik in a war zone, protesting structures of oppression and namely, that time I got thrown out of Coalition Headquarters by the U.S. army guards, but redeveloped in sadly serious ways once I got to seminary. Obedience and submission for the sake of success and approval by people in authority is an ethic I need to get worked out of my system.

I also know that the most powerful, stick-with-me spiritual narratives are 'Letter from a Birmingham Jail,' by MLK Jr., and 'Letters and Papers from Prison,' by Bonhoeffer, and 'Every Land Has Dreams: From Baghdad to Pekin Prison,' by Kathy Kelly.

I also know that my colleagues and mentors in the peace movement have all spent significant amounts of time in prison, and that I have seen my future calling to be one including probably 2-3 years accumulated time in prison.

I also think that now is a good time for me to give a few months to prison witness. It means that I am not indispensable, which would be something I would feel more pressure about if I were out in the parish, or even in a Ph.D. program--paths that are to be explored all too soon. And as I stand accused gently by my deans as 'overfunctioning,' (being workaholic), stepping out of the busyness may be a very good spiritual discipline for me. Though, Dow (my advisor) says, I probably would devise ways of being just as busy once I got to jail!

I kind of think I shouldn't be allowed to be ordained without this prison time. [Actually, I would tend to say that no one should be allowed to graduate a seminary today without an arrest record and a well-worn passport. But I digress].

So, these are some of my very many reasons for pursuing civil disobedience and jail. I responded with these, and then my advisor asked, 'But what do you want to go to jail *for*? On whose behalf? For what cause?' I had forgotten to begin at the beginning, because I thought he already would have known my answers. oops.

So, briefly: to protest the war and militarism and torture. I have done civil disobedience for all these things before, but have somehow not been arrested. But, that may change. I will travel this weekend to the Christian Peace Witness for Iraq in Washington, DC, where with several other seminary students, will be risking arrest during an overnight vigil. Over 700 people will be risking arrest with us.

Then, to join the Occupation Project in congresspeople's offices to get them to support an end to financing the Iraq war. That will probably be sometime the next week.

Then, there will be some time to consider that which I have been thinking of since 1999--which would be crossing the line at the School of the Americas at Ft. Benning, GA. [This place has been shown to be responsible for torture throughout the world]. I am watching carefully to see what happens with this year's prisoners of conscience. And talking to my presbytery. And my seminary. It could put my graduation back a semester or year. However, I have a good supportive community in which to go through this now. And I am speeding through the process much more quickly than originally planned. I do not have all the answers now, and probably will not come to a final decision until late November before the protest.

In the meantime, if ending this reflection abruptly, I have books to hit and student sermons to write and student newspapers to edit...