When God Screams

In my human rights ministries class last night, a student presented a collection of photos he had made of torture victims around the world. He is bringing us a CD of the collection and some of the documents our government has written defending these practices for our own use in congregations.



The reaction that I had was that of God screaming in my ear. It wasn't that I found the pictures shocking; I'd seen all that before. Rather, all that this student was saying, I had first-hand experience with in Baghdad; I have been too silent. The stories that I told are not being told right now in ways that people can understand them. Even I don't necessarily understand the stories once they've been put into heady, detached language or quick sound-bites.



So, as my life has gotten quite comfortable here in my new seminary; where I have little to fear in my own daily life; where I have an abundance of friends and few real challenges; I need to get a little more uncomfortable. I need to get back into churches, speaking about what I have seen. Getting back to showing Iraqis as real human beings, every bit as much as we ourselves are. Not deserving of what we have wrought on them, and confessing aloud that what is happening there now is a direct result of what we have done.



I said in Chapel this week as we lit candles for Advent that I had been up late nights waiting for something, only wishing I knew what it was. I have been searching for how to be a more faithful servant for God; and toward this I have been better prepared, and re-paired, in these past few months than I imagined possible. I think things are becoming a little clearer.



I have the time; I don't have parish commitments this year. I have the background; I even have pictures, and the ability to speak so people in congregations can hear. I will find the audiences.



Or, I am convinced, God will not let me sleep at night anymore.