Torture and Theodicy

(I wrote this tonight after the lecture in my class on Reconciliation at Catholic Theological Union, in which we discussed a common cry of those being tortured or subjected to extreme trauma. The emphasis which must be made is that even the most devout people, when subjected to this kind of suffering, will say that God was not there; not that they merely felt blinded to God's presence. Rather, it is the feeling of being utterly absent, isolated, alone.)



Torture and Theodicy


October 9, 2006



“In the darkest night of torture,


God was not there.”


Where did God go?



It is true, that


Sometimes evil gains the upper hand.


This we cannot deny.




Torn out of homes


Disappeared


In the middle of the night


On every continent


Those to whom we cry,


“Mother!” “Father!”


Are no longer there with us
a comfort
but separated by miles, chains, soldiers, fences, and walls
and the things that happen within.




In that moment,

Evil reigns.




When electrodes are fitted


To the body


Or water forced into lungs


And politely explained away to the public, then



Evil is reigning.




But, not forever.




For even like family


Who, though ripped from us


Still love us;


Even when the fullness of evil

Rips us from God,

Our Mother-Father

Will not stop loving us

Watching, waiting

Holding vigil

Agonizing



In that moment

When we find ourselves utterly alone,

abandoned

Like Christ, the Abandoned One before us

Who cried,

"My God, My God

Why have you forsaken me?"

Alone to die;


and God in God's own despair

tore the Temple curtain

and blocked the sun itself.


Hours of torture until death;

Still this was not the end:


God found a last Word

a restoration

a Resurrection

even if the scars still showed


And so I believe

Even if we are to die

We will be reunited

Even if we share

In the same dreadful Death

As the Tortured Christ



We will be reunited

At the last.